They are our sisters, girlfriends, wives, daughters and mothers... but effectively they are the source of all human life, as we develop inside of them and literally come out of them. They are women. And they are beautiful creatures that should be reveered and cherished. Yet in our country 1 in 2 women will be raped in their lifetime. For me this is a major scourge of our country as its indicative of the challenges we face concerning poverty, lack of education and social norms based in ignorance; which are all perpetuating this violence against women.
The harsh reality is that we are a nation at war with ourselves. South Africa has some of the most advanced and respected legislative and women's rghts frameworks in the world, with a huge amount of effort going into intervention, treatment and support, however violence against women still continues. Our country has so much potential and if we ever want to be 1st world and realise our potential this violence needs to cease. But why does it continue?
Research shows that there are many social norms still in existence in relation to women, that are very harmful to women. Some women in marriages or relationships continue to experience being hit or beaten. Women in our communities continue to be sexually assaulted and raped. This is happening to the point that it seems normal, and because it seems normal it seems that nothing can be done. Thus there is a harmful social norm that exists around violence against women... and this norm is that violence against women is a part of every day life and therefore there is no need to speak about it or question it.
Research done by the "Campaign on Violence Against women" has shown that there are attitudes and beliefs that exist that are perpetuating the violence against women. These are the beliefs that beating your partner is a sign of love; a man should have sex whenever he wants it; a woman who is beaten by her partner must have done something to deserve it; friends and family should keep quiet about a man who is abusive; women entice men, and that is why they are raped; and it is accepted that leaders in our communities remain silent about violence against women.
This is a load of balony and needs to change. Violence in a relationship is not a sign of love, it is never acceptable for a woman to be beaten or raped, family and friends must speak up and our leaders need to speak out about and do something about violence against women in our communities. It is our leaders responsibilty to build a healthy society... but it is also all of ours.
Violence against women is more far reaching in its aftermath than any of us realise, as it perpetuates fear. Fear is a negative emotion and thus is negative energy. When a woman is fearful of being raped or attacked, this fear does seep into other aspects of her life which then transcends into all aspects of human life as women are the mothers and nurturers. Thus this negative energy spreads into all aspects of life. And this 'fear' might seem subtle or insignificant in its effect, but when our country has its back against the wall with severe lack of infrastructure, the effects are actually exponentially detrimental.
What can be done? I take an holistic approach thus I look to nature for the answers. If human beings were perfectly one with nature, violence against women would only be a fraction of what it is now. Nature also shows us that all its creatures, including humans, are products of their interaction with their environments and their subsequent socialisation. Thus if a boy is taught from a young age that its ok to beat a woman, he probably will grow up to be abusive. Or if he is abused from a young age he will grow up and project this abuse onto others, and women innately are a primary target as they are physically weaker and they satisfy a primal instinctual sexual need. So young boys need better access to education and they need to be removed from abusive environments, or these environments improved.
Obviously this is much easier said than done. We live in a country with infrastucture only available to a quarter of its inhabitants. Thus there is mass poverty. Which equates to lack of education and abusive environments. However, someone can be dirt poor but stil have a conscience if they have been given the faculties to develop a conscience. So we need to ensure environments where these boys are able to develop a conscience. This is where social workers come in, as this is what they specialise in. A social worker is only supposed to have 200 cases a year but in our country they have an average of 600. Thus proper attention cannot be paid. Also, social workers in our country are very poorly renumerated. Who would want to go into a dangerous environment for pennies? Makes you think about all these big companies(SABC, Eskom etc.) who have CEO's who almost run these companies into the ground, but when they are fired they are given renumeration packages of 10 million rand. "You did a sh!t job, here's 10 mil!" I wonder how many social workers that could pay for? Government spending and fund allocation is very far from optimal and its not like we're not paying a lot of tax for everything.
It is the government's responsibility, but blame cannot be placed solely at their feet. It starts with me, you, all of us. Our attitudes need to change. We all need to start caring and truly understanding that unless we get to the roots of the problems our country faces, we will never fulfill our potential. We all can make a difference. And we all need to speak out against violence against women.
This past weekend I was invited to the BMW Polo International- South Africa vs Italy! I was excited as I had never watched a Polo match before. But when arrived I realised I had only been given general admission tickets... now Im no snob, but I only attend these events to meet influential people, so there was no way I was going to be on the outside looking in...
The highlight of my day was meeting Felicia Mabuza Suttle, SA's own Oprah, or as she puts it, Oprah is America's Felicia!
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